Brayden

I have been trying for about 2 weeks now to sit and write about Brayden. Not about what he's doing exactly, or how he has grown. But about him as my little boy. About him as the center of my world and the love of my life and how that's all going to change, but I know deep down it won't. But everytime I try, I just end up crying and don't get very far and can't seem to get the words right to express what I mean. But yesterday I had a very special moment with you that made me need to get this done. So I wrote you a letter.

Dear Brayden,

As much as I am looking forward to meeting your baby sister, I can’t help but feel a little wistful, a little sad, about all the changes that are soon to come. When I was pregnant with you, the only thing I worried about was how much delivery would hurt, how I’d take care of a newborn and how badly my sleep would be interrupted. This time around, I’m not really concerned about those things at all. The only thing I worry about is you.

For nearly the past three years, you’ve had the undivided attention of your daddy and me. You are the center of our world, confident in our love for you, and I think that’s a big reason why you are such a sweet and caring kid. Because it’s my job to worry about you, lately I have worried about the impact on you when a new baby is thrown into the mix and we simply can’t make you the sole focus anymore. I don’t want you to feel jealous, or sad, or not as important as you used to be. One piece of luck that’s on our side is that you are such a good helper, and you seem to love babies, so I hope that you will enjoy being a part of the baby’s everyday care and that you will feel important and special in your role as “big brother.”

I know that I am probably overthinking all of this, as many parents before me have done. That’s because I know that soon, our relationship is destined to change. No longer will it be “just us.” And you are so wonderful, so sweet, so loving with your words and actions, that I selfishly don’t want anything to change. On Monday's, our day to spend together just the 2 of us, I go to bed feeling so sad that this might be our last Monday together just us. But change we must. That’s the nature of life. And when I’m not being all weepy and emotional about it, I know that as our relationship grows and changes, there will always be sweet new memories to be made.

You are so lucky to be getting a sibling soon. I’m grateful that you will have someone to grow up with, to play with, and even to fight with. Someone who can commiserate with you about how crazy your parents are, someone who will hopefully always have your back. And believe me, I think your sister is extra lucky to have you as her big brother because you are already so loving and caring.

Even though I tell you all the time, I am so proud of you and the little boy you are becoming. Your daddy and I love you more than words can express. You make us proud every day, and we are so fortunate to be here with you as you grow and learn. Life wouldn’t be the same without you, and soon, we are going to feel doubly fortunate to have another child. My love for you won’t ever change… my heart will just grow to allow room for another special baby to take her place in our family.
I love you, you're my boy and I'm your Mommy.
xoxo,
Mommy

Long Overdue...

Well, I've neglected this blog for way too long. It's time for a LONG overdue pregnancy update!

I'm now 33 weeks along and quickly approaching the end! Most of you already know, but this one is a little GIRL! We are planning on naming her Delaney Piper Frost. We had ALOT more trouble deciding on a name this time, but that one seems to have stuck.

Things have been going along pretty smoothly. I was again diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes and this time it was a little worse. I failed the 1 hour test so badly that I wasn't even made to suffer thru the 3 hour, but sent straight to the doctor. Luckily, I have been able to modify my diet enough to control my sugar levels during the day, but I do have to give myself insulin shots at night before bed. I've been doing this since about 18 weeks.

Besides that, everything has been moving right along. I have not gained much weight this time, probably due to the new diet, so as of my last appointment I am only up by 8 pounds. But at that last appointment, I was caught by surprise to hear that now that I am past 32 weeks, I am considered slightly high-risk, due to the diabetes and insulin. Because of this, I now will not only be seeing the OB every week instead of every other week, but I also have to go in for weekly Non-Stress Tests. I also will get to go in for ultrasounds every 2 weeks from now on to measure the growth and make sure she doesn't get too big. I had no idea about this, so this came as a huge surprise when I had to schedule all of this. Thank goodness I have a flexible schedule and will be going in every friday morning for the next month.

Once I hit 37 weeks, they will move my appointments to the Sewickley hospital and I will probably have to go twice a week. And they have already warned me...pack my bags and bring them with me to these appointments, because if necessary, I will be going straight to the hospital if needed!

So this has put me in a bit of a panic. I guess I have been just plodding along this time, not really in any hurry to get anything done. And now it feels like it's going really fast and I'd better get my butt in gear! So this week Andy and I have started doing some major cleaning and organizing around the house. We are going to start this weekend with pulling out the carseat and swing and just finding all the baby stuff that is packed away. The nesting has begun!!

Loving Two

LOVING TWO I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship.Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.And I wonder, how could I love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you.I watch as the pain you feel at having to share me as you have never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me" and I hear myself telling you in mine "I can't".Knowing in fact that I never can again.You cry, I cry with you.I almost see our baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty.I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her -- as though I am betraying you.But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine.The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.But something is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just us two.There are new times -- only now we are three.I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how she adores you, as I have for so long.I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you.I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.And my question is finally answered to my amazement.Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you, only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I know you'll never share my love.There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply.

I love you both and I thank you both for blessing my life.

~Author Unknown~

Take A Guess!

My BIG ultrasound is coming up soon! Monday, November 9th at 10:30am we finally get a glimpse of our little one! I can not wait! So while you are waiting, please go to this site and vote for what you think! Boy or Girl??

http://www.acepolls.com/polls/1048993-baby-frost-ii---boy-or-girl

12 Week Appointment

The other day I went for my 12-week appointment at the doctor's office. Pretty amazing I'm out of the first trimester already! It's going way too fast for me. With Brayden, it seemed like it took forever and this time it just flew by. I guess it being during the summer really helped because we have been busy all the time.

Let's recap the past 12 weeks. Well, the 8-9 that I actually knew I was pregnant. Sick, tired, sick, tired, sick, tired, tired & now fat. That's pretty much how it went. Since I basically felt perfectly fine with my first pregnancy, I was tricked into thinking this one would be the same. Nope, not at all. I have every symptom possible. Haven't missed out on a single one. And I'm still waiting for it to start to go away. While it has been better the last 2 weeks, I definitely haven't been able to eat the same and I'm still waiting on the "burst of energy" to kick in.

My appointment was pretty uneventful. Got weighed (actually lost 1/2 a pound!), peed in a cup and checked my blood pressure. Everything looks good. Then we tried to hear the heartbeat. At first we had no luck and the doctor was worried I would panic I think, so she decided to try something else. I had to have an internal anyways, so after that, she must have got him/her up and moving. When she tried again, we were able to hear it right away. So everything is looking good and right on track. I don't go back for 4 more weeks. I do have to go for the glucose screening sometime soon. Not happy about that one...that drink is nasty. But since I had gestational diabetes last time, I have to test at 14 weeks and again at 26 weeks.

That's about it for now. At least on the pregnancy front. I'll post a good one with some pics of Brayden later in the week!

Big Fat Slacking Slacker...

Yep, that's me. I suck. I totally basically quit my blog for the entire summer because I'm lazy. But I'm back! Yes, I'm actually going to start up again! I feel pretty obligated to now...because I'm pregnant again! Most everyone that would read this already knows that, but I thought I'd throw it out there just in case. And since I kept a pretty decent blog during my pregnancy with Brayden, I better not start out slacking with this kid or I will never catch up. So here we go again! I know some of you will be pleased! ;)

Some Suggestions...

I wanted to provide some suggestions for those that have been asking on what to get for Brayden's birthday. These are simply suggestions and in no way requests!

He is currently wearing a size 2T and will be in that size for awhile. Most of it is still pretty roomy on him, so I expect him to be wearing it thruout the fall also. He could use some more summer clothes. He is currently in shoe size 7 and definitely could use some sandals. He only has 1 pair right now. However, he will NOT wear the flip-flop style where they go between his toes. I'm also on the lookout for some new hats, he really likes to wear them and needs them when out in the sun due to his light skin and thin hair. He also could use some new pj's in summer styles.

Brayden's favorite TV shows/characters are Blue's Clues being his #1. He also likes Little Einsteins, Elmo, Thomas or anything Choo-Choo. He's just getting started to watch Disney movies a little, but still doesn't last for the whole thing. He's also just getting into really liking to build puzzles. The type with big chunky single pieces. Coloring has also become a big hit lately and he doesn't have much of that.

Finally, Brayden is definitely very BOY-boy. His favorite things to play with now are trucks and balls. And spend as much time as possible outside. We do already have a push mower for him, but besides that, there isn't much outside for him to play with. And as you know, we don't have much of a yard, but there is room for a few things. He loves any kind of bigger tonka-style truck or digger that he can push around. He loves kicking or hitting a ball, so any sports type stuff would work also. He loves following Andy around with a screwdriver and doesn't have any sort of tool set or work bench either.

Finally, we have decided to look into getting on of those plastic climber/slide combos or a wagon to get him with any of the gift cards we receive from Toys R Us. Target is also a good place for gift cards because I buy alot of his clothes and diapers from there. Any cash we receive will go into a savings account for him. And please, if you don't mind attach the gift receipt to whatever you get. Just in case we get doubles or need to return any broken items.

I hope this helps those of you wondering and please don't feel obligated to get any of it or even anything at all! Just come out and enjoy the party and have fun!!